Wrestling With The Timing of The Repose of My Uncle

For the first time in a long while something has happened and I'm asking God "Why?" because it genuinely doesn't make sense.

After having beaten cancer twice - including one form that should have ended his life last year but by God's grace he beat it - my Uncle died last night at around Midnight. Just as Father's Day was beginning. Families across the country gathering to express love and appreciation while members of my family gathered to go about planning a funeral. I'm just not getting it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm by no means questioning God's providence or railing against Him for deciding today was the day for my Uncle to fall asleep. I just don't understand the timing, the events that lead up to his repose, and how while I may not necessarily be busting up over his repose - I am more upset for those in his life who love him and were going on previously supplied hope that he would be around for far longer than he actually has been. My hurt is for them, and not my own loss of my only biological Uncle.

I also don't get how it's crept into the Protestant psyche that once someone dies - that's it. A wall of separation now exists and there's no way to cross it. Granted, I used to take comfort in 'knowing' that I would see my loved ones again in Heaven - but I know it would have been more comforting to know that I would still be able to interact with them in this life through my prayers and asking them to keep me in theirs. To not have that seems needlessly cruel and counter to God's nature as I understand it now. When I shared this aspect with my now-widowed Aunt about her Mom - my Grandma - I was told she was greatly comforted by it and encouraged. I pray that those words will come back to her mind, with their application being extended to her Husband as well as her Mom. I've yet to talk to her - but I pray that that is what she is experiencing now.

I'll readily admit that I don't have the level of love that a niece 'should' have for an Uncle. Fact of the matter is most of my life he didn't do things to make himself very lovable to me and that's a loss for the both of us. Fortunately as time passed and after both his first then second bouts with cancer his appreciation for life and those around him increased - and my respect for him also increased. The man who initially said, "They left us - they can come here to visit" when his son, my cousin, moved his family to the Midwest for better work opportunities for his wife and child was now going to be heading out to the Midwest in two weeks with my Aunt to be there when his son's second child would be coming into the world. The man who would make a point of rubbing into my family's faces his family's latest vacation now bringing up the desire to travel with my parents. The man who ridiculed my Dad's degree later coming to approach him for what counsel and encouragement he had when he didn't have to do so at all in light of the Doctors who's care he was under. No one can tell me that God can't work in a person's heart and life, and there are many ways my Uncle demonstrated this - the previous are but a few examples.

Which is why his repose at this time isn't making sense to me. But this is where I get to once again take a deep breath and prayerfully remind myself that God's ways are not my ways and my Uncle's reposing when he did was the right time for him to do so. Glory to God in all things.

Memory eternal, Uncle Gary.+