The times they be a-changin'

Every now and again something will come along and make you realize how much you've changed. And that can be for the better or the worse. But it's still those moments that are important to have in going through and living this life we've each been given so that growth can take place. If one is willing to do so.

Something that marked the end of my days as a Protestant that still carried through for a bit in my early days as an Orthodox Christian was the realm of apologetics. As a Protestant I had plenty of good reasons for this interest. While I was a teenager I had been seduced by Mormonism, where my lack of knowledge regarding 'context' and Scripture reading had been exploited. Once I realized my error and left this cult I determined to know not only what but why and how I believed as I did out of a strong desire to never be fooled again. No more false prophets for me!

Then I got involved with Jews for Jesus. Street evangelism. Getting back to the Jewish roots of my Faith. Interacting with non-believing Jews & Gentiles in ways that were meant to respectfully - and humorously! - deal with the question: Is Jesus who He said He was? Is He the Messiah? If so, shouldn't we as Jews be placing our trust in Him? The knowledge I gained from this time later proved of great assistance in testing out of OT: Prophets & Writings at my undergraduate university; this test was actually considered to be the more difficult of the two OT tests one could take to get out of an OT class. I considered this knowledge a gift from my time on the streets of LA, Westwood, Chicago, NYC, Toronto and even the campuses of CSU Fullerton & UCLA.

Fast forward a few more years and I've become Orthodox. The seeds that were planted in wanting to make sure what I believed was in fact true as a result of my Mormonism days bore fruit. I did in fact finally find the Church of Christ and the Apostles and got the answers to my childhood question of "What happened after the book of Acts?" The seeds that were planted from my time with Jews for Jesus helped me understand more quickly the holistic and Eastern mindset of Orthodoxy, and I was able to make necessary connections sooner by God's grace.

However, this also meant no more street evangelism with non-Orthodox groups. Taking a different path from my Protestant apologetics-friends when answering various key issues of Scripture and Faith to not only non-Christians, but even to my Protestant friends; and the list goes on.

I was disappointed because I loved a good argument, a good debate. One engaged in in spirited ways with respect in the hopes that maybe just maybe something I'd say would plant a seed and the Holy Spirit would work in that person's life and s/he would come to Faith by the end of the conversation.

However, in my days with JFJ the biggest problem I had at a personal level was what truly happened to the Gentiles that I'd actually prayed "the sinner's prayer" with. Had they been discipled? Had they been left hanging? Would I truly be thanked upon arrival in Heaven (should I even get there by God's grace), or would I in fact need to give an accounting for not engaging in some sort of discipleship and now that person's condemnation was on my soul?

Lord have mercy!

Fast forward to now, where debates and arguments no longer interest me. Where they had once enlivened me - now they drain. I am more interested in being at peace and engaging in one-on-one conversations with people as they take place organically through the course of our relationship. For if I am truly living my Faith then the questions will come on their own.

I can understand Protestants and their desire to go to the streets in following St. Paul's example. However, he didn't always do this. There is more that he did that had nothing to do with preaching in the square to bring people to Faith that has sadly gotten overlooked. I'm not saying that those times are now behind us; rather they should not be the hallmark of spreading the Gospel. Yet in many circles they are.

It wasn't until I started learning more about early Church History that it was the Christians who took in abandoned infants and raised them as their own, buried the dead, cared for the sick (and even starting the first hospitals & orphanages), and providing for the poor. And not just among their fellow Christians - but even non-Christians, and even when in the midst of horrible persecution. Directly handling the undesirable things out of Christ-like love for their neighbors, not standing on a street corner yelling at passers-by.

Now through various acquaintances I am seeing postings where proof for the historical Jesus are made by non-Christians. Philosophical arguments for the existence of God and even how archeology is proving that humans were around for far longer than we may think (and therefore evolution can't possibly be true).

Such things used to excite me and get me to think that we Christians had gained another foothold against those who would dare oppose the Gospel on their straw-man-based efforts at reasoning.

Now such things sadden me. Where is our trust in the Holy Spirit Who will preserve the Church against anything and everything the enemy of our souls wants to throw at Her? Where is the love and humility that inspires loving silence in the face of both physical and verbal blows?

The me of a few years ago would be appalled that I have written this much without so much as a single outside source being employed. Even for a blog entry such as this. However, the only one that I can offer is: Come and see (John 1:46). The words that St. Philip offered to St. Nathanael in response to his questioning of anything good being able to come out of Nazareth.

For if I am living a life of Faith in Christ - *truly* living that life of Faith - that is all the answer I will need to give. It is one thing to answer someone's genuine inquiries about Orthodoxy, it is another to sit and engage in a session of one-up-man-ship that unless God is truly at work then nothing of benefit is really going to come out of it. Rather, most likely the opposite.

So what to do with verses like, "contend earnestly for the Faith"? There are times throughout history where that is the best course of action to take. However, it's not meant solely for being between Christians & non-Christians...it can even be for aiding someone in the growth of their Faith, or even pleading with someone considering an unwise path to reconsider their steps as their Faith could be put in jeopardy. Yes, there are times when it is appropriate to be what's called a "Jude 3 Christian" - but if we are truly engaging in going about living our life in Christ that won't be necessary to do with those we interact with on a day-to-day basis. More often than not the best thing we can do is avoid the possible debate/screaming match and instead pray for people out of a place of genuine love and care. Not the false love that thinks "so they'll stop being stupid and believe as I do" but the sort of love that says, "Lord, if their salvation means my condemnation for all eternity - then so be it" - and genuinely meaning it. I have to be honest and say I am not at that place yet. Perhaps by God's grace one day I will be.

Because I've learned that more often than not the best place to be contending for the Faith is not on the street corner, but on my knees.