Forgiveness & Reconciliation

The title of this post involves two words that in one way or another have been at the forefront of my mind for some time now. Initially, it was a mixture of seeking forgiveness while making the effort to engage in it with reconciliation out of the picture in my thinking. However, as often proves to be the case my thinking is in no way helpful or edifying for anyone's salvation - least of all my own.

I will admit that initially I was willing to work towards forgiveness on my end in light of the words in the Our Father: "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." Hard words when one is in a place of needing to forgive another but there are various reasons - whether truly justifiable or not - for not doing so. I've reached a point in my walk where I know that I can't not forgive someone else. However, I'm also relearning that it is a process that takes time and fortunately by giving myself permission to let time do its thing - I am arriving at a place of forgiveness that I couldn't otherwise have imagined by God's grace. I still have a bit of a ways to go, but I am making progress in that direction by God's grace.

However, it was reading about forgiveness that the concept of reconciliation hit me square between the eyes. That it's something Christ commanded us to do; it's not an option, it's not something to do when we feel like we've forgiven the other person adequately in our own eyes. Reconciliation is to be pursued and engaged in among Believers regardless of the offense committed by either or both parties. On the one hand this was difficult, but on another and deeper level - I knew and still know it's a necessary thing. However, at first I knew I needed to reach a point where if/when reconciliation were sought after with me I would need to be at a point of being able to respond in grace, humilty, and commonality of purpose. While I'm not fooling myself at all by thinking the relationships with whom I need (this isn't a want, Biblically - it's a genuine need) to reconcile with will ever be as they once were - it still needs to happen.

I also came across a prayer provided courtesy of Fr. Stephen on his blog, "Glory to God for All Things" - and they were very convicting:

Save, Lord, and have mercy on those whom I have caused to stumble, turning them away from the path of salvation and leading them to evil and unseemly deeds. Return them to the path of salvation by thy Divine Providence.

(a prostration is made)

Save, Lord, and have mercy on those who hate me and offend me, and do me harm. Do not let them perish because of me, a sinner.

(a prostration is made)

I can say without any doubt that I have caused others to stumble and to act in evil deeds. I can't say I know for certain if hate is involved, but there is a lot of anger - and by withholding forgiveness & reconciliation on their part it is a sign of my own sin that I need to repent of. I am very aware of this failing on my part, and all I can do is pray, seek repentance, and wait for God to work in those individuals' lives so that true forgiveness (and not words spoken in anger so as to 'cover the bases') and reconciliation can take place. It's been a good little chunk of time so far, and it honestly confuses me that this amount of time is being taken. I fail to see how what I did deserves the level of noncommunication and refusal to engage in it that I am receiving from others. However, it is not for me to understand but to simply be patient, wait and let God work in those individuals' lives to heal them of my wrongs towards them whether or not I know what those wrongs are.

It is my simple prayer at present that I be ready for those conversations when they take place, that my words will be gracious and seasoned with salt and the love of Christ so that healing and reconciliation can take place and my forgiveness achieved by God's grace. In the meantime I simply have to be patient and seek out my own repentance and pray that when that time comes I will in fact be ready.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us sinners!+