Yep, it's Lent!

Having arrived and gotten just past the mid-point of Lent it seems this phrase pops up more and more not only for myself but my fellow Orthodox who are also at the mid-point of this time. Those that I am able to sit down and talk with, it always surprises me to hear the wide variety that exists in the overall struggle to pursue Lent with its disciplines and extra services. I am thankful for the times that I am privileged to get to see how our struggles range from being strikingly similar to very divergent from one another. Personally it lets me know that I'm not as unique as I thought I was and that we are all indeed at various points in our walk and God willing growth as Christians.

Something that has confused me the last couple of years however is hearing how people are having a peaceful, blessed Lent as though they are on a 40-day retreat that is letting them soak in the services more, engage in more spiritually-based readings and in general having a very peaceful daresay enjoyable experience.

For me the last couple of years it's been anything but.

Granted, I had very different things happening during Lent but ultimately Lent for me has definitely been about struggle, scratching and clawing, weeping (well, at least the strong desire to!), and overall very difficult. Yes, the enemy has taken elements and blown them up bigger than they otherwise would be at any other time of the year ranging from food cravings (ok, I'm smelling and craving the *lettuce* on a hamburger from a fast food place. I *hate* lettuce on my hamburger - wha...?) to deeper 'stuff' within me that if I am not careful and vigilent will have me being rolled as though I'm caught in a wave in the ocean.

Needless to say, when Pascha arrives - I'm beyond ready for the Feast of Feasts, whether for the intended purposes or my own selfish ones. Hopefully my selfish reasons will fade as I learn and grow more so that the true Paschal Joy will be afforded me in all of its richness; but I'm not there as yet. By God's grace may this come to be on this side of Heaven.

I can look back and reflect that while I wasn't aware of it at the time - I was going through the latest stage of change in my life as a Christian. There are ways I am able to look back now and see that - yeah, I wouldn't have this attitude or behavior if it hadn't been for the trials that are definitely unique to Lent. However, my part definitely involved clinging to God every step of the way - even though each step involved pain at one level or another. I know that even with the trials I am experiencing this Lent that there are needed changes taking place (God willing!) that I will once again get to look back and see how they couldn't have happened had I not taken this journey. Sadly, there are even more lessons that I didn't learn because of my unwillingness but thankfully God is good and is willing to let me repeat until I do learn.

After reading all of this I would more than understand my reader thinking me insane for actually looking forward to Lent every year, even though I secretly know it's going to be hard and still hope that perhaps it won't be this time around. Fact of the matter is there are ways where I am able to focus on my prayers more, I am able to attend more services, and with it all culminating in the Feast of Feasts - how can I not look forward to Lent?!?

I am thankful that this year a major difference for me has been the fact that I am not the only one experiencing various forms of struggle, scratching and clawing. That I am not the only one experiencing times where the enemy is pulling out the stops to deceive me into taking my eyes off of Christ and give into the ghosts that would have me believe that I am unwanted, unloved, and beyond any help. Quite the opposite on all of that, by God's grace.

It has been to the point where when I ask a fellow Orthodox how things are going I can tell by the way they respond with, "It's Lent!" how things are going for them. It gives me cause to increase my prayers for them, or even let myself commiserate a bit so that we can encourage one another on in the struggle and/or let myself be encouraged during my own times when the storms are particularly raging. I also get to realize just how much a product I have become of society that encourages ease, feeling good, and avoiding difficulties and repent of this. For if I am truly seeking to become like Christ and return to the divine image I have been created with - then I need to abandon what the world tries to lure me towards. Which means it will very much so be a struggle - but we're far from alone in it by God's grace.

So with that, let's encourage one another in greeting with the words, "Yep, it's Lent!" not with a sad countenance that betrays what we are in pursuit of but rather that Bright Sadness that has us all heading towards the Glorious Resurrection of our Savior and God.